


What Comes Easy Won't Last. What Lasts Won't Come Easy.

by motherbearof3



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Anal Play, Anger, Angst, Barson, Caretaking, Embarrassment, Erectile Dysfunction, Established Relationship, F/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, erectile dysfunction medication, priapism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:28:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26374231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motherbearof3/pseuds/motherbearof3
Summary: Stress makes Olivia horny, but it has Rafael unable to perform. Frustrated in more than one way and feeling like he's failing the woman he loves, Barba resorts to medication to solve the problem.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37
Collections: Happy birthday Michelle!





	What Comes Easy Won't Last. What Lasts Won't Come Easy.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the most hurt I've brought to Barba in all my stories so far. I hate making him hurt. But at least he has Olivia to help him make it better!

Rafael Barba looked at the clock on his bedside table. She was late. 

He shifted on the bed and winced as the movement caused his penis to bob. His very erect penis. 

He reached for it to halt the movement but stopped, remembering the last time he’d done that. Any touch just tempted him to get some relief on his own. But he was afraid this was a one and done opportunity and then he’d be right back in the situation that got him to where he was to begin with. How was he to know it would work so quickly? Rafael thought one pill, two hours ago and he’d be ready when Olivia got home and would be able to maintain the erection he’d been struggling with recently. But it kicked in faster than he expected and he’d begun to get hard. Even without any stimulation. Well, he’d given himself a few experimental strokes about an hour ago. He wanted to make sure it would work. He hadn’t expected to go from flaccid to feeling like he could hammer nails with his dick so fast. But he was tired of failing and disappointing his wife. Now she was late and he had a raging hard on that he could feel his pulse in with every heartbeat.

_ A few weeks prior... _

Rafael rolled off of Olivia and onto his back with an exasperated sound, carding his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry, Liv.”

She moved to snuggle against him, her open palm over the gold crucifix he wore around his neck. His chest was damp with sweat from exertion. He’d been trying so hard to stay hard or at least make her come before he started to get soft. 

“It’s okay.”

Olivia kissed his shoulder, on the cluster of freckles that lived there.

“Maybe if I --” she moved to slide her leg over his and take the top position but he halted her movement with a hand to her shapely thigh.

“No,” Rafael said firmly. Then a little softer. “No. Tonight’s just not my night. Again.”

She placed her hand atop his and linked their fingers, giving it a squeeze and pushed up to kiss his stubbled cheek. He offered her a weak smile then pulled his hand free and rolled away from her and out of bed onto his feet.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’m going to get a shower.”

“It’s okay,” Olivia repeated, watching his naked ass appreciatively as he walked away.

“It’s not.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

The bathroom door closed with a decisive click that hinted at the slam he wanted to give it and Olivia flopped onto her back with a sigh. 

She knew he was struggling. He’d admitted as much to her in a burst of emotion when she’d asked him after the last time in a moment of her own self doubt if she was the source of his problems.

_ “Ay, ¡por Dios! Olivia, no. ¡Claro que no eres tú! Jamás serías tú. Eres divina... Una diosa.” _

He’d lapsed into upset Spanish and rattled it off so fast she didn’t catch all of it, but knew he was trying to reassure her. She put a calming hand on his arm and gazed into his green eyes that were filled with near panic at the thought she thought he wasn’t attracted to her or she was doing something to turn him off.

“Slower, honey.”

Rafael took a breath and spoke again in English.

“Sorry. No, Liv. Never. I love you.” 

He moved his free hand to the side of her face and brushed her cheekbone with his thumb. 

“I always want you. Always. All ways.” 

The innuendo was an attempt at lightening the moment, but she saw through him like she always did.

“What’s wrong?”

“Work. I can’t get out of my head. I start out fine and then suddenly instead of how fabulous your skin tastes and how wet you are for me, I’m thinking about the deadline for an appeal McCoy wants me to do instead of Carisi, who is perfectly capable, and the grand jury coming up and it’s over.”

He put his head in his hands, wanting to hide from the shame of the failure he was feeling. Olivia put her arms around his shoulders. She wasn’t sure what to say to help. She hoped once work settled down things would improve. 

On his side of the bathroom door, Rafael wanted to pound his fists against the wood, but settled for clenching his hands and jaw, before wrenching on the water in the shower. Stress -- and they’d had it spades lately -- made Olivia more randy. Unfortunately, as of late, it had put Rafael off his game in bed. This was the third time in three weeks he’d been unable to maintain an erection long enough for either of them to come. Of course, the woman he loved assured him  _ it happened _ and  _ it was no big deal _ . The first time, he brought her to orgasm with his mouth. The second, he coached her through finishing herself off; whispering dirty sweet nothings in her ear and kissing her as she came. Tonight, he didn’t have the heart; too filled with his own failure and self loathing.

***

They went from a couple who had sex at least once a week — more if they could sneak it in when Noah wasn’t around or even in his office after hours — to a couple who kissed goodnight and rolled over to go to sleep. Rafael knew Olivia was taking matters into her own hands to satisfy her needs and burn off stress. Her showers were a little longer than usual and some nights he could feel movement from her side of the bed and her breathing pick up. Part of him wanted to roll over, kiss her and touch her, but another part knew she would reach for him and want to try and get him off in return. So he pretended to be sleeping.

One night after Olivia’s breathing settled and she fell asleep, slumber eluded him and he picked up his phone to scroll through his personal email. Most of it was junk that managed to get through the spam filter, Facebook friend recommendations and recipes from sites he subscribed to for things he thought he might want to make but never did. As he deleted the junk, one email caught his eye. The body of the email was addressed to Raquel Barba and was clearly aimed at a woman. 

**IS YOUR MAN HAVING TROUBLE KEEPING IT UP?**

They didn’t mince words, he thought. It was an ad for mail order sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra. Just one little blue pill (or white in the photo) and your man would be able to go all night. Or so it said. Rafael didn’t care about all night. He would be happy with an hour or so from start to finish. Enough time for him to make Olivia come and then finish himself. Like he’d told her, he wanted her. The desire was there, regardless of what his brain was thinking. Even after his erection was gone, his balls ached like he was seventeen again and was at the movies with Lauren Sullivan and got a peek down her shirt when she bent over to put her drink on the floor at their feet so they could hold hands.

Before he could talk himself out of his, he’d clicked on the link in the email and for once was grateful his wife was nosey when it came to Christmas and he had created a PayPal account linked to a credit card that was in his name only and didn’t have to get out of bed to find his wallet. 

If he was honest with himself, Rafael had forgotten about his late night purchase until that day when their doorman told him he’d signed for a package for him and pulled a small white padded envelope from behind the counter. There were no identifying marks on it other than a customs label, but the man had winked at him when he told him to have a nice night. Conveniently, Olivia had told him she would be a little later that night, planning to take Noah straight to a birthday sleepover after dance class. Once he was inside the apartment, Rafael texted her letting her know he was home and asked her to let him know when she was on her way. She had, but that was now almost an hour ago. He leaned over gingerly to pick up his phone from the nightstand with the intention of calling her to make sure she was okay when he heard the apartment door open and close and his name called. Quickly he replaced his phone and flipped the sheet over his lap.

“Rafael, I’m sorry I’m late, I hope you didn’t cook anything elaborate. Rafael? Where are you?”

Olivia’s voice came from down the hall when she discovered he wasn’t in the kitchen. She appeared in the doorway, looking harried.

“There you are -- oh!”

Her expression softened when she saw him sitting in bed bare chested and presumably, bare under the sheets as well. She shrugged out of her blazer and hung it up, then removed her boots and put them on the closet floor. Turning and crossing to his side of the bed, Olivia leaned over and kissed him lingeringly, her touch making his cock twitch beneath the sheet.

“Let me get more comfortable and then I’ll join you. Did you order something for dinner?”

“N-no,” he managed, watching her strip off her blouse and work trousers, suddenly nervous and a little embarrassed at what he’d done and his state beneath the sheet. “I, uh, thought I’d wait for you.”

“Okay, we can eat later. Let me freshen up,” Olivia said, reaching behind her to unhook her bra as she made her way toward the bathroom. She paused and slid it off her arms, baring her breasts before tossing it in his direction with a cheeky grin. “Don’t start without me.”

Rafael groaned internally and when she disappeared from view, put his head back against the headboard, closed his eyes and laughed to himself. He was lost in thought about how he had  _ started without her _ longer than he realized, because suddenly Olivia was beside him on the bed, smelling like mint and the ginger soap she liked, swinging a leg over his to sit on his lap, pressing her full breasts against his chest and running her hands through his hair before kissing him. He responded enthusiastically, eager to touch her and pulled her closer. Olivia broke the kiss and looked down at the sheet between them.

“You did start without me,” she teased, moving a hand to run her fingers down his hard length.

He couldn’t hold back a groan at her touch.

“Liv.”

“Rafa.”

Olivia carded her fingers through his hair and met his gaze before resting her forehead against his.

“I’m not quite as ready as you are, my love,” she breathed. “Do you think you can help me with that?”

Rafael rolled them so she was on her back. Ignoring the throbbing between his own legs, he moved between hers and kissed his way down her body, paying attention to the swell of her breasts and the valley between before taking one nipple and then the other between his lips, teasing them with his tongue until they were hard peaks and then suckling on them in turn until Olivia was arching her back into him and scratching his scalp with her nails. When she started moving her legs restlessly, he moved his mouth lower, hands caressing her sides, until he reached the apex of her thighs. Feeling the roughness of his beard on her legs, Olivia spread them to give him access where she wanted his mouth and lifted her hips in supplication. He used his thumbs to gently part her outer lips and smiled when he saw the moisture there. 

Lowering his head, Rafael ran his tongue up her slit and around the sensitive bud but didn’t touch it directly. 

“Don’t tease,” Olivia pleaded and her hips bucked involuntarily when he granted her request and kissed her clit before using his talented tongue on it in ways that had her clutching the sheet.

When he slid a finger inside and felt her walls clench around his digit, Rafael’s cock reacted with a hard twitch of his own and reminded him he was into hour three of chemical assistance and didn’t know how much longer he would last. Withdrawing his hand and moving his mouth, he ignored Olivia’s whimper of disappointment and quickly re-positioned himself with the thick head of his erection at her entrance. Her discontented sound turned into one of pleasure as he reached between them to line himself up to enter her body that was now more than ready for him.

Green eyes met brown in a passion-filled gaze as he slowly sheathed himself. Rafael was well endowed but tonight he felt thicker, stretching and filling her in a way that made her eyes flutter closed when he was completely seated within her. This was the first time in weeks he could remember being solely focused on making love; with nothing in his head except how Olivia felt around his cock. It pulsed with a life of its own and she felt it, reopening her eyes and giving him a squeeze with her inner muscles before running her hands down his back to cup his ass and pull him deeper.

“Good, Rafa?”

He knew she meant the state of his erection, but he replied,

“So good, Liv. You feel so good.”

Then he gave into his need to move, withdrew and plunged back into her, again and again, reveling in the feel of the slide of her skin against his, the slap of his balls against her each time he drove in, deeper than seemed possible, the smell of her hair when he dropped from his hands to his forearms so their torsos were completely touching and his face fell to her neck. Olivia’s mouth was on his neck, licking and biting, her nails digging into his ass as her hips matched his rhythm.

“Faster,” she panted, wrapping her legs around his.

He did as she bade, hitting spots on both the inside and outside of her that had her crying out wordlessly each time. Rafael could feel his own orgasm building low in his belly, his balls pulling up tighter and he pushed back up on his hands, grinding hard against her pelvis. He could feel her muscles begin to tense and then she was throwing her head back and drawing in a loud breath before letting loose a moan as he felt her walls contract around him, drawing his cock in deeper. He fought against the grip and pulled back, making her squeak and thrust back in, the friction pushing him over the edge. He throbbed so hard within her that Olivia came again, holding him close and finding his mouth for a fierce kiss. Finally she pulled her mouth away, panting for breath.

“Wow.”

“I’ll say,” he replied, as his own breathing regulated.

Not wanting to put his whole weight on her, but loathe to give up contact, Rafael rolled to his side, taking her with him, keeping her in his embrace. They shared leisurely kisses and caresses, enjoying the physical and emotional intimacy. Rafael shifted to draw the covers over them and as he moved closer to her again, his penis bumped her and she lifted them to look beneath.

“You’re still hard.”

“I am.” 

Honestly he was a little surprised, but assumed it was the pill still doing its job. He thought it would go away after he came, but his refractory period would be shorter.

“Did you not finish? I thought I felt --”

“I did.”

“Then why -- “

The haze of endorphins began to burn off and the former detective now captain started to use her faculties again.

“Did you take something?”

He didn’t speak but didn’t need to; she read his face and knew the answer. Olivia moved put a hand to his face then leaned closer and kissed him gently.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I’m glad you talked to someone about it and got a prescription. I was starting to worry about how it was making you feel.”

When he didn’t reply again, she pulled back to meet his eyes.

“Please tell me you went to a doctor, Rafael. Please tell me you didn’t buy something from some guy on a street corner peddling stolen meds.”

“No! I’d never do that.”

“Good.”

“I got it through the mail,” he admitted, dropping her gaze, knowing he couldn’t lie to her and if he didn’t come clean she would interrogate him until she got the truth.

“What?”

Olivia sat up in bed and looked at him aghast. Maybe it would have been better to get it from some guy on the street corner, he thought. As she did, proof that he had finished began to leak out of her. She gave him a pointed look and threw back the covers to get out of bed.

“I’m going to the bathroom. When I come back, you’re going to tell me what you did, Barba.”

This time, it was he who admired her naked backside as she walked away, even knowing the upcoming conversation was not going to be pleasant. Lifting up the covers concealing his unflagging erection, Rafael muttered, 

“First I can’t keep you up, now you won’t go down.”

After she’d cleaned up and pulled on a robe, Olivia returned to their bed and sat down facing her husband. She took his hand because, whatever he’d done, she loved him and wanted him to know that.

“Talk to me, Rafael.”

He did. He told her about how he felt like he was failing her as a man and a husband, because his body was failing him. He told her about how he knew she was taking care of her needs without him and how he knew he could have helped her with his hands and mouth but that he knew she’d want to try and return the favor and it wouldn’t have worked and then he’d have felt even worse. So when he saw an ad for erectile dysfunction meds, he thought they would solve all their problems. Olivia’s annoyance and anger faded as she listened and her heart ached for the man she loved. She wished he had shared more with her. She would have tried to help him before he turned to semi-illegal drugs.

“It’s from an actual prescription?” she prodded gently. “Written by a physician?”

“I assume so. The package looks legitimate.”

Rafael leaned over and took the white padded envelope from his nightstand drawer and handed it to her. Olivia’s eyes widened when she saw the customs label. Then she turned it over.

“When did you learn Arabic? Or whatever language this is?”

“What?”

She pointed to the printing on the envelope in letters that weren’t familiar to either of them. He hadn’t noticed them, and for the first time, Rafael began to wonder if he’d made a big mistake. Olivia slid the blister pack with nine remaining tablets out and turned it over. At least those words were in English, she thought with relief. As well as Spanish, French and an Asian language.

“It’s the same active ingredient as what’s in Viagra,” he told her.

All she knew about Viagra was what she’d seen in commercials and magazine ads.

“How long ago did you take it?”

Rafael glanced at the clock. 

“Almost four hours ago. I thought it wouldn’t start to work until you got home and we started -- you know. But I, uh, got hard almost right away. That’s why you thought I’d started without you.”

“Honey, how long had you been that way before I came home?”

She put a hand on his thigh.

“A while. It was uncomfortable, to be honest, but I was afraid if I --” He made a hand gesture. “It would go away and I wouldn’t be able to get it back up once you got here.”

“Oh, Rafa.” Olivia moved her hand to his cheek. “Is it gone?”

His one knee was bent up under the covers so she couldn’t tell. He shook his head.

“Is it as uncomfortable as before?”

“Not as much.”

Olivia thought for a moment. If he had another orgasm his erection might go away faster. They’d had sex more than once in a night before but not this close together and not after she’d had two orgasms in succession. Almost three if you count what he’d done with his tongue. She smiled, remembering.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Your oral skills.”

She moved closer and pushed the sheets down to reveal his still very erect member. Closing her hand around it, she gave it a gentle stroke and he hummed with pleasure.

“How about it if I give my oral skills a try and see if we can get things to settle down?”

“I would enjoy that.”

Olivia leaned over and closed her lips over the bell shaped head, tracing around the edge with the tip of her tongue. She heard his head hit the headboard with a light thump and felt his fingers on the back of her neck, caressing under the collar of her silken robe. She worked his cock with her mouth and hands for close to thirty minutes, taking him as deep as she could go, moving from sitting to kneeling between his legs, removing her robe so he could knead her breasts and roll her nipples between his long fingers. Finally she stopped, her mouth and jaw sore, with nothing to show for it but a renewed wetness between her own legs and the head of his cock a deep angry purple, weeping for release.

“I’m sorry, Liv. I’m so close.”

“I know.”

She climbed onto his lap and slid onto his shaft, surprising him with the movement and her renewed readiness.

“ _ Dios _ ,” he groaned. “Yes, this could do it. You feel so good.”

But a charlie horse in Olivia’s inner thigh put paid to that attempt before they could accomplish anything. While she was stretching, she watched her husband take matters into his own hands. His eyes were closed, and he worked his cock in motions as familiar to him as breathing. Breathing that was getting irregular as he pushed his hips up and rutted into his hand. But he was lacking adequate lubrication and stopped with a frustrated sound and opened his eyes to see her watch with rapt attention. They’d never engaged in mutual masterbation before and Olivia wanted to watch him come undone by his own hand.

“Do we have any lube? Baby oil? Hell, I’ll use olive oil at this point.”

Olivia shook off her own thoughts. He looked tired, frustrated and a little like he was in pain. She went to a drawer in the dresser and removed a box from beneath some clothes.

“I was saving this for Valentine’s Day, but it might help us now.”

She took it to the bed and opened the box. It contained a rubber cock ring, a bottle of lube and a slender, slightly curved silicone device. Two batteries rounded out the contents. His lips twitched.

“I don’t think we need the ring.”

She smiled back, glad he still could find humor in the situation.

“No, you said you wanted lube, and I thought maybe, well, we’ve never done anything like this but I thought you might, um, like -- “

Rafael reached out and took her hand, drawing her down onto the bed beside him.

“Don’t get shy on me, Liv. If you bought it, that means you want to use it. You know I’ve been with men before, and yes, I enjoy prostate stimulation.”

He took the bottle from the box.

“Let’s start with this and see if I can manage to resolve the situation myself, and if not, then we can try out our new toy.”

“And if not, we’re going to the ER,” Olivia added, looking down at his penis, which was starting to look sore and swollen. She feared he’d be bruised when his erection finally went down. 

“Okay,” Rafael agreed, hoping that wouldn’t be the case. He knew what they did to resolve priapism and he did not relish the thought of a needle being inserted into his manhood.

A liberal squeeze of lube and he was back in business, stroking himself, keeping his eyes on Olivia’s face, her expression as she watched him more of a turn on than he ever expected. He could see her own breathing increase as she watched him, knowing she was getting aroused. If he wasn’t fixated on making himself come again in hopes his dick would finally deflate, he’d have encouraged her to touch herself. But after several minutes of the same, he felt he was playing an endless game of edging.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his green eyes filled with desperation. “I’m so close. So close, Liv. Please.”

Rafael slid down on the bed from the sitting position he’d been in to lay on his back.

“Tell me what to do,” she said, removing the vibrator from the box. “Should I put the batteries in?”

“No, I don’t think I’ll need that. It’s curved, that should do the trick,” he said. “I hope.”

He bent his knees and let them fall open, baring himself and Olivia knew he was trusting her to help him. She’d never engaged in anal play with any of her former lovers but, knowing her husband was bisexual, thought he would probably enjoy it which is why she bought the items from a website that sold adult toys. She just thought they’d be trying them under more relaxed circumstances. Rafael added more lube to his dick and held the container out to her. 

“Should have bought the supersize bottle.”

She smiled at him and shook her head, knowing he was trying to make light of what could potentially be a serious problem for him. Then she squeezed a generous amount on the vibrator and some on her fingers.

“Go ahead, Liv,” he prompted, beginning to stroke himself again.

  
Olivia reached out and gently touched his perineum and entrance with her slick fingers. Rafael hissed a breath and she watched his body react. She pulled her hand away.

“No, no, that was good. It felt good. Do it again.”

His voice was husky and she knew he was telling the truth. She touched him again, a little more firmly and he hummed in pleasurable agreement, closing his eyes and continued to minister to his rigid length. Again she moved her fingers, added more lubrication to his entrance and then placed the tip of the vibrator there. Rafael moved his hips and she understood he wanted her to insert it. She pushed gently, feeling resistance and stopped.

“Don’t stop,” he ordered. “You’re not hurting me.”

Olivia pushed it in further, then a little more, watching him tighten his grip and then gasp.

“Oh, god.” Then a request in a ragged voice. “Fuck me with it.”

She did as he requested, moving it in and out, trying to keep time with his hand. The pleasure on his face was different than she’d seen before and she was filled with emotion and arousal at the level of intimate trust he had with her.

“Hard, a little -- harder -- yes -- god -- yes, yes, yes,” he panted, his hand jerking erratically.

Olivia couldn’t help herself. As she fucked him with the vibrator, she slipped her other hand between her legs into the slickness there and, watching him climax, shooting streams of cum onto his chest, rubbed her swollen, sensitive nub and shuddered through another orgasm of her own. When Rafael’s legs collapsed down onto the mattress, she came back to herself enough to gently ease the device out of him. His eyes remained closed as he recovered, Olivia slipped off the bed and went into the bathroom. Putting the toy in the sink to wash later, she wet and wrung out two washcloths with warm water and took them and a towel back to the bed. She cleaned his torso and dried it off, then turned her attention to his penis. Thankfully, it seemed to be returning to a normal, flaccid state, albeit a little worse for wear. Gently she cleaned it off, although he would probably want a shower later. Returning to the bathroom, she cleaned herself up again and went to the kitchen for two glasses of water, realizing they’d had none in all this time.

“Rafa,” she said softly, thinking he was asleep.

He opened his green eyes; completely conscious, just physically and emotionally wrung out. Pushing back up into a sitting position, he took one of the glasses she held and drained half of it.

“Thanks.” He took another drink. “For everything.”

Olivia climbed onto the bed and pushed sweaty strands of hair off his forehead.

“For better or worse, remember.”

“You definitely made worse, better,” he told her, pulling her close for a kiss. “But do you think you can do one more thing?”

“Anything.”

“Order some food. I’m starving.”

**Author's Note:**

> Post script note to say thank you to Hasbleidy for helping my with my Spanish once again! 😘


End file.
